Hello my friends!!! Yes, I am still alive but that’s not saying much about my mental state. I want to get off the rollercoaster!
My intentions were good when I said that I would begin posting more regularly after the first of the year but it didn’t work out that way, obviously. I thought, once I got my Christmas crisis over with, things would all settle down. Wrong.
About mid-January, the landlord informed us that he wanted to move one of his field hands into the house to oversee his AG Chemical business operations (a job he had originally told Mark that he would like him to do once they were sure it was going to be profitable). So, he gave us until the first of March to move out!
In the middle of winter, in Indiana, he wants us to find a new place to live and move our 5+ years worth of accumulated stuff. I spent the last weeks of January and the first of Feb. looking for somewhere suitable, that we could afford, that Sara didn’t object to, that was closer to where Mark worked, etc.
Early Feb. I was successful with that part of this process. I located a 3 bedroom house with living room, family room and unfinished basement. That worked out perfectly for what I was wanting, a room specifically set up for my “studio”. It is 20 miles closer to where Mark works, which cuts his commute from 35 minutes to about 10. But then came the packing up and moving it process. Every day for about 9 days straight I would pack my 4 totes and handful of boxes, take them to the new house, empty them out on the floor of whatever room they went to and go back home to pack them up again. Yes, I was having a problem getting boxes!! Everywhere I went I got the same response, “We recycle our boxes, sorry.” Who knew it would be so hard? I did finally get a couple dozen or so from the local small town grocery store and also from Hobby Lobby. In the end, we had to buy them from the U-Haul place.
As the end of February got closer, I would try to make at least two trips each day doing this. We had to also deal with the weather. One weekend it was below zero windchill that stopped all progress, then we had ice another. To say that we were a little upset about the timing is an understatement.
We have been moving everything over the last two weekends. I have a house full of boxes to unpack with a sore back and knees to.
Along with all of this, we had a hundred other things to deal with. Dad went into the hospital in Florida with chest pains but it’s okay. His memory is still really bad though from the last time he was in the nursing home up here. Mark’s uncle died and his dad is having a hard time with it. Shawna’s friend committed suicide. Sara’s half-sister suffered the loss of her cousin to an accidental overdose. There is more but I just can’t remember everything right now, it’s all been so overwhelming
I miss you all and decided to take a break and fill you in. You are never too far from my mind. One advantage to this move, I will now be getting U-verse service for my internet and should not have any more problems getting on here to post my thoughts!!!
Love, hugs and blessings to all,
P.S. Len, I haven’t forgotten you either!! I will get back to work on that little project when I get settled into my house. xxxxx
For Shawna; my pride and joy in/of you has no bounds. I can’t count the times I’ve lost my way and seen those unfamiliar eyes staring back at me too. Just remember that is a momentary illusion. Look to the mirror of your soul, you will see who God sees and she is beyond beautiful in every way. I love you!!
I caressed my grandmother’s paper-skin face. She was weary and trembling. How much longer did she have to live? I watched as the life leaked out of her, in the form of tears. I gripped onto her hand. With the last morsels of energy, she pulled something out from the drawer and dropped it into my palm. It was a peculiar watch, with a rib-cage for the cover. “Use it wisely,” she whispered and she never spoke again.
- Ermisenda Alvarez
I stared down at it as the tears flowed from my eyes, remembering the poem she had recited to me when I was still just a child;
With each tock
of the clock
minutes go by
just seem to fly
The time’s set
before you die
In their sum
dreams won’t come
if you never try!
Somehow, at this very moment in time, within the anguish of my grief, I heard her sweet voice saying those words once again. I always had wondered, then in my youth, what it all really meant. Now I know!
Teresa Marie 8/25/12 ©