Where Did I Go? – Part One

(image source: dreamworlds.ru)

*

“Where did I go?”,  Susan thought to herself as she got dressed for work.  That woman of mystery and allure that she had once envisioned herself as was far from what her life was now.

Here she was living a lie and getting ready to play out an even bigger one.  Susan had been abused by her husband for 15 years.  They had three children out of their marriage with the youngest one being only 5 years old.

She had made up her mind the night before that she had to escape.  There was no way that she could take any more of this sham, the pretense was slowly killing her but worse, she feared that Jason was on the verge of doing it himself.

He was sure that she was cheating on him, which was the furthest thing from the truth.  She would have been too scared to ever do something like that even if she wanted to, which she didn’t.  “Why in the world would I want another man after having to live through hell with you for these last 15 years?” she often thought when the accusations would start flying.

The vile, filthy things he would say amid these tirades disgusted her to the point of never wanting to have sex again for the rest of her life.  Maybe that was his intentions all along, but Susan doubted it.  She could find no rhyme or reason to his fits of rage.  They never made any sense to her.  “You make me sick!  I hate you so bad that I’d like to kill you myself!!” was usually how it always ended, his last parting shot to her psyche before it was followed by a blow to the face or his hands around her throat squeezing the breath out of her.

Yes, Susan was ready to save herself today.  “I’m sorry kids,” she thought as she took a last look in the bathroom mirror, “but you’re gonna have to stay here for a couple of days without me.”  Susan wasn’t too worried about that part, Jason never hit them.  They were just his little pawns that he used against her, too valuable to alienate them.

As she came out of the bathroom, Jason was standing there glaring at her.  “It’s the third Saturday in a row that you’ve had mandatory overtime!  This is ridiculous!  You sure you’re not going to meet somebody instead?”

“Don’t be like that!”, she replied.  “You know I have no choice, it’s mandatory.  What do you want me to do, lose my job?  Then where would we be?  You’ve been out of work since Karen was nine months old, somebody has to support this family.”

That was another thing Susan was starting to resent him for.  She had been working sixty to seventy hours a week for three weeks straight and was worn out.  Then she came home and had to clean up the house, fix dinner, get the kids rounded up and ready for bed, all before she could ever seem to sit down and rest.  Jason’s famous phrase was, “Look, mommy’s home and daddy is off duty now!”

No wonder she got hooked on meth.  She had to do it just to keep herself going.  It wasn’t all that hard to get and half the people that she worked with were doing it too.  So that was a way to add a little more income to the household as well, Susan became their supplier.

She used the money from the meth sales to cover Jason’s Morphine and Oxycodone addictions, in addition to the meth.  She didn’t pay anything for hers, which was no longer a high but rather a necessary evil.

As Susan walked out the door, her legs were shaking.  This was it, she would never come back to this house again, never see any of her possessions again either.  She knew that Jason would hold her worldly goods as hostage in attempts to lure her back but it wasn’t going to work this time.  He could have, have it all but the kids!

In reality, Susan was supposed to be working today but on Thursday they had announced that Saturday overtime had been cancelled.  That’s when the plan started to take shape in her mind, all it lacked was the backbone to do it.

Jason opened the door up and took one parting shot at her as she got in the car.  “I’ll be calling you at work in about half an hour just to be sure you’re really there!”

“That’s fine, I’ll be there,” Susan replied as calmly as she could and closed the car door…

5 thoughts on “Where Did I Go? – Part One

    1. Yeah, I know, this will be a longer series than in the past so stay tuned. Part Four will be out today, you may want to sit back like you did before and read a few at a time 🙂 hugs, Terri

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