Crushed (and update on Mark)

 

I don’t want to believe it.  I told Mark last night that I was so very scared about his “procedure” today.  He told me not to worry about it ’cause he knew it was just the hole had gotten bigger and they’d fix it.  I told him I didn’t think so and my heart of heart’s told me it was worse than that.  He asked me what I thought it was.  I said blockage, open heart surgery.

I never in a million years dreamed that it would be even worse than that!!!!!

Mark has a very rare heart condition called pulmonary hypertension.  The doctor who worked on him today said that name means that the blood pressure of his heart is too high and they have no idea what causes it.  He is going to try his best to treat it here BUT the medicine is very expensive and there are only a handful of clinics in the country who deal with treating this condition.  If he can’t help Mark, he will be sent to one of these clinics in Chicago.

I can’t take this!!!!  I am crushed, overwhelmed, I don’t even have a word that is close enough to conveying how I feel.  Shock is putting it mildly.  I thought I was prepared.  I thought God had forewarned me that it was going to be bad, but this?????????????????

Why does it have to be something so RARE?????????????????  Can anyone reasonably expect to receive more than one miracle in their life, more than two miracles for a couple?  I’m afraid to believe that there will be another, what if there’s not?  I wouldn’t survive it.

Your prayers are needed more than ever before!

SPEECHLESS

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9 thoughts on “Crushed (and update on Mark)

    1. Thanks you sweet man! I”m still a little shell shocked by it all but it’s in God’s hands and worrying isn’t going to make a bit of difference. We appreciate your prayers, Kevin. Many blessings to you, Terri

  1. Oh, Terri, I’m so sorry about the news, but somehow, you have to hold on for Mark and your family…It’s not easy for me to say that after hearing our horrible news a year ago about our daughter’s rare liver disease..but, it’s the only thing you can do and just knowing God is there to guide us, no matter what we’re going through…I think the best way to deal with it, is one day at a time and I know that sounds cliche. But, when I started thinking of the “what ifs” and the future, Terri, I broke down and really lost it…so, just try to be there for him and each other and also know you have a support system praying for and thinking of you both…sending comforting hugs and if I could, I’d hug you in person…♥

    1. Thanks Lauren! I’d hug you back too!!! I went in to check on Mark Tues. when he was still sleeping at 2:30 in the afternoon and got the scare of my life when I thought he wasn’t breathing. After I shook him and he woke up, I had to run out of the room so that he wouldn’t see me bawling. I’ve been doing it just like you said, taking it one day at a time. It really helps to know that I have people like you and my other blogging friends out there offering prayers and support. The shock has worn off, I think, and now it’s time to dig in with both hands, hold on tight and pray! hugs and much love, Terri

      1. I can’t even imagine, Terri, but please know I’m here if you need someone to listen…I don’t think anyone has the answers, but sometimes we just need to know (like you said) that others are praying for us and supporting us through their thoughts…much love to you, my friend…xo

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