Your Monday Morning Laughs

tumblr_lwig0pqyVj1qzds8jo1_r1_500

tumblr_lwfnrcdvpJ1r60r74o1_400

tumblr_lwfnotfu3Y1r60r74o1_400

tumblr_lwfnn2KlRm1r60r74o1_500

tumblr_lvog16o16D1qd5giho1_500

Some Wednesday Bedtime Laughs

 

 

 

 

 

(image source: photobucket.com)

Some Wednesday Laughs Via My Nephew

 

 

 

 

 

Some Tuesday Laughs Via My Family’s FB Pages

A Pastor On His Death Bed – Via My Brother – LOL! A Monday Night Chuckle

(image source: bing.com)

 

 

 

PASTOR ON HIS DEATH BED…

An old pastor lay dying. He sent a message for an Internal Revenue Service agent and his lawyer to come to the hospital.  When they arrived, they were ushered up to his room. As they entered the room, the pastor held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The pastor grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling.

For a time, no one said anything.  Both the IRS agent and lawyer were touched and flattered that the old man would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled because the pastor had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them. 

Finally, the Lawyer asked, Pastor, why did you ask the two of us to come here? The old pastor mustered all his strength, and then said weakly, Jesus died between two thieves, and that’s how I’d like to go.
 
Priceless!

Regular Saturday Morning Animal Laughs

Kitten saw the dog saying
I’z not yours to eat
As dog did the kitten
with sloppy kisses greet!

 

 

A new brand of elephant
came into the yard
and to welcome him
the others tried real hard

 

 

When junior left
his doggie said
“you can’t keep me
off your bed!”

 

Saturday Morning Animal Laugh In Limerick

Doggies one, two, three

when did the turkey see

said to each other “Oh boy!”

and preparing it to destroy

jumped into chairs thankfully!!

Friday Morning Animal Laughs

Poor little kitty
just wanted to slide
didn’t know that climbing it
was crossing the great divide

 

 

Did you know that kittens
now come in a can?
But to get them out
you’ve gotta have a plan!

 

 

 

Twenty-Nine Lines To Make You Smile – Via Mom, LOLOLOL!

                                                 TWENTY-NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE 

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t.
2.
 I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every damn minute of it. 
3.
Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them. 
4.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don’t take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

 
 
6. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9.
I’m not a complete idiot — Some parts are just missing.  
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes
 
 
11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck- is-the-room- spinning medicine. 
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 
14.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. 
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
 
 

 

 

16. Being ‘over the hill’ is much better than being under it! 
17.
Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18
. Procrastinate Now!

 
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? 
20.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
 
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23.
They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. 
24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
 
 

 

25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. 
 

 

26. Ham and eggs… A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. (how true)
27.
The trouble with life is there’s no background music. 

28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29. I smile because I don’t know what the hell is going on.

   Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!

                  Life is too short and friends are too few!

Pug – Thursday’s Other Limerick

Pug really wants to know
if there you’re gonna go
he asks if you are serious
’cause then you must be delirious
or are you just for show?