Spinning

spinning

Crushed (the poem that didn’t get attached)

reality

Crushed (and update on Mark)

 

I don’t want to believe it.  I told Mark last night that I was so very scared about his “procedure” today.  He told me not to worry about it ’cause he knew it was just the hole had gotten bigger and they’d fix it.  I told him I didn’t think so and my heart of heart’s told me it was worse than that.  He asked me what I thought it was.  I said blockage, open heart surgery.

I never in a million years dreamed that it would be even worse than that!!!!!

Mark has a very rare heart condition called pulmonary hypertension.  The doctor who worked on him today said that name means that the blood pressure of his heart is too high and they have no idea what causes it.  He is going to try his best to treat it here BUT the medicine is very expensive and there are only a handful of clinics in the country who deal with treating this condition.  If he can’t help Mark, he will be sent to one of these clinics in Chicago.

I can’t take this!!!!  I am crushed, overwhelmed, I don’t even have a word that is close enough to conveying how I feel.  Shock is putting it mildly.  I thought I was prepared.  I thought God had forewarned me that it was going to be bad, but this?????????????????

Why does it have to be something so RARE?????????????????  Can anyone reasonably expect to receive more than one miracle in their life, more than two miracles for a couple?  I’m afraid to believe that there will be another, what if there’s not?  I wouldn’t survive it.

Your prayers are needed more than ever before!

SPEECHLESS

Mad Hatter Matter (and Update)

mad hatter

I thought that I might actually lose it today!  I’ve been barely hanging on with my last fingernail, then it broke!!

Mark took his sugar readings and they were as follows: 139 (scary but he didn’t fast as long as he was supposed to so we disregarded it), 89, 86 and 88.  Which, according to the papers they gave him, was a possible indication of hypoglycemia.  Then he went to the doctor this afternoon.  The nurse practitioner that he saw before was sick and so he got a different one.

She completely threw out the notion that it was his blood and went straight for another possibility.  Guess what she said?  His heart!  As she was getting some papers she had printed for him, in walks his doctor who is on vacation this week.  He came in specifically to talk to Mark and order a battery of heart tests.

I didn’t want to believe what I thought I had heard in my spirit intentionally when this all started but, as with every time I ignore those voices, I should have listened!!  I’m numb right now with the shock to my system.

For better news:

Dad’s biopsy came back negative, so no cancer.

Kevin said that their grandson was released from the hospital yesterday.  The granddaughter is doing well enough that they are putting that piece of her skill back on and she is no longer being kept sedated.  She is expected to recover with, hopefully, minimal or no permanent damage to her brain.  They are all staying at the Ronald McDonald house so they can be close to her.  Jodie’s son’s funeral was today.

Please pray for Mark some more!!!  I’m worried sick, in more ways than one but mostly because, what would I ever do without my soul mate here with me?  I can’t fathom it 😦

Love, hugs and blessings to you all, Terri

Some New FB Posts

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More FB Wisdom

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Love These FB Wisdom Pics

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Contributions from Another Facebook Friend

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Let’s Do It Again; More Wise Words That Make You Go “Uh-huh!”

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Some More Wise Words to say “That’s so true!” to

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