Where Did I Go? – Part Eight

(image source: google.com/images)


After Susan got inside the shelter and met with an intake counselor, she was shown to her room.  They weren’t all full, so she had a room to herself.  Not sure if that was good or bad though because she spent the majority of the first couple days alone, crying and verging on depression.

The worst part of it all was not having her children there with her.  On the second day there, she called the police and asked if they would escort her to go retrieve her children.  When she heard the answer to her request, she burst out into uncontrollable tears.  

The current state law, as explained to her, was that the parent who was in possession of the children was the custodial parent until a judge ruled on it.  Therefore, the police said that they could not go with her to enforce removal of the children from their father without a court order.

Susan walked around in a fog for the next 24 hours and then she got angry.  She spoke to the legal liaison for the shelter about the situation.  After a lengthy conversation on the matter, the woman informed her that, since it was a common law marriage, which weren’t legally recognized in their state, and Jason had never established paternity for the children, he had no rights to them.  Susan was the sole custodial parent in the courts eyes and if he refused to give them to her, he could technically be charged with kidnapping.

Susan was ecstatic!  She immediately called the police station and asked to speak with one of the officers that she’d previously spoken with.  After explaining the circumstances and legalities to him, he told her that he needed to speak with his Commander and would call her right back.

So she waited by the phone in the office of the shelter.  Fifteen minutes turned into twenty, and then thirty.  Her stomach was churning.  “What could be taking him so long?”, she asked herself.

The counselor on duty at the time did her best to keep her calm.  After forty minutes had passed, she told Susan, “A police cruiser just pulled up outside.  That must be him to get you, they didn’t radio in a drop off.”

Susan quickly walked to the entrance door and waited for her to buzz the locks.  Once she heard the click and was given the okay, she opened the door and got the biggest shock and surprise of her life.

The police officer was holding her youngest child in his arms with the other two in tow.  “You went and got them for me?!” she exclaimed through her tears.  The children were all screaming at once, “Mommy, mommy!!  We rode in the police car!”  They were instantly kissing and hugging, amid the tears.

Susan stood back up and looked at the officer saying, “I can’t tell you how grateful I am for you doing this.  You are an angel!  Thank you so very much!”

He expressed his concerns over taking her there to get them and what it might instigate.  Therefore, he had decided that it might go over better if he went by himself.  He stated that Jason was quite irritated but didn’t give him too much problem after that. 

The kids had been fed and bathed already.  So there was nothing left to do in preparation for bedtime.  That left them with plenty time for hugs, kisses and snuggling…

Teresa Marie 1/28/12 ©



I Am Pleased to Announce…

I am pleased to announce the return of my daughter, Sara, to her blog.  She wrote her first poem in quite a while today for her one of her best friends.  Please stop by, take a look and leave her a comment for encouragement.  Her web address is:


You might see a resemblance in there, lol!

Thanks everybody ♥

Where Did I Go? – Part Five

(image source: google.com/images)


After she answered all the the officer’s questions, Susan felt like she was going to be sick.  Her nerves were shot.  She was trembling so hard you’d have thought that she was standing outside naked in sub-zero weather

And that is exactly how she felt, naked!  Susan had never gone this far before.  She knew that it was her first step to total and final freedom.  There was no going back now.

She told the officer that she needed to use the restroom before they left.  Once the door was closed, Susan crumpled to the floor and hot tears were streaming from her eyes as she gulped in huge sobs so that her mother wouldn’t hear her loosing it.  She didn’t want to stress her out any more than she already was.

Susan knew that Mary would be thinking all sorts of worrisome thoughts right about now.  Such as; “Are the kids safe with him?  Why didn’t she do this in a way she could have left with them?  Will he come after her?  Where is she going to go when she gets out of the shelter and how long are they going to let her stay there anyway?”

She could be sure that’s what she was thinking because she was doing the exact same thing herself.  They thought alike in a lot of ways even if they were so very different in many more.  

So she prayed, “Lord, give me the strength I need to make it through the next couple of days!  Please help me calm myself, give me Your peace, let me know that everything will be okay, send Your angels to protect me right now ’cause you know I’m gonna need it!  Please don’t let him kill me.  Please protect the children, Lord, I beg You!!  Please, please, Lord, …”

All at once, the uncontrollable shaking stopped and she was calmer.  Susan could deal with the slight tremble she now had, that was just her body physically reacting to the enormous stress she was under, that made perfect sense.  At least her spirit was calm.  She got what she had asked for.  

As Susan gathered herself together and stood up, there came a knock at the door and Mary’s voice quietly asking, “Are you okay in there?  Do you need anything?”  She must have seen how whiter her face was when she had gotten up from the table.

“Yeah, mom, tell the officer to just give me one more second, will ya’ please?” Susan told her mother.

“Sure, but are you gonna be alright?”  She said that she would and heard Mary’s footsteps walking away.  At that moment her mind flashed to the conversation that she had with her boss just a month prior when she had walked into the office with a huge, nasty black eye.

Susan had told her co-workers that her youngest daughter had been jumping up and down as she was bending over to pick her up and the top of her head had struck Susan squarely on the cheekbone causing the black eye to immediately form.  They all thought nothing to the contrary.  She had never spoke at work about Jason’s fits of rage or abuse.  As far as they all knew, he was a great guy.

But her boss was another thing.  Being a man who drove a motorcycle with affiliation tags to some of the local clubs, he looked like someone who had probably been in a few bar brawls in his day.  Once Jim took one look at her, he called her out in the hall.  As soon as she closed the door behind her he asked, “Who the hell gave you that black eye and you’d better not tell me it was your husband!!”  At which point Susan burst into tears.

“Why don’t you leave him?!!  I never thought of you as the type of woman who would let a man hit her, ever!!!  I’m going to call the police right now.” And then he turned to walk back into the office.

“Please, no,” she begged him, “don’t, wait..”

“Give me one good reason not to!”

“You don’t understand.  He is an avid hunter.  He has guns.  I envision him sitting on a rooftop somewhere just waiting his chance to shoot me from a hiding place and getting away with it!  He’s been threatening to do it for months now…”

Teresa Marie  1/24/12  ©

Where Did I Go? – Part Three

(image source: photobucket.com)


“Hurry up, let’s get inside!  By now Jason knows that I didn’t go to work.  Where’s Dad?”

“He isn’t awake yet.  He had a hard time sleeping last night and was up and down at least a half-dozen times I think.”

Susan couldn’t seem to quit shaking, or crying, nor could she say “I’m so sorry!” enough times.

“What are you going to do now?” her mother asked.

“I was going to go to the Battered Women’s Shelter, I think.  That’s probably the safest place for me right now.  Besides that, they will probably help me get counseling so that I can strengthen my resolve to never go back there.” she answered.  “I don’t know what the procedure is to get placed in there though.  I thought I would come here and we could look up the number and call.”

At that point Susan’s mother arose from the kitchen table where they were sitting and grabbed the phone book.  As she did Susan thought, “Lord, help me!  I can’t do this without You!!”  Her mother turned around and handed her the book.  

“Do you have any clothes to change into?” she asked.

“No.  I couldn’t take anything with me or he would have been suspicious.  All I have is the uniform on my back.”

“Well, at least the people at work won’t know that you are wearing the same clothes every day!” her mother exclaimed trying to lighten the tension.  “I’ll go get you something else to wear.  Will you need shoes too?”

“Yes, please.  Some tennis shoes would be fine, mom.  Thanks.”

With that, Susan started looking for the phone number to the shelter.  Once she located it, Susan picked up the phone with a trembling hand and dialed it.  The lady who answered was very pleasant-sounding and explained to her that she would need to make a police report and then have the officer bring her to the shelter.  That was the only way that she could get in.

After Susan hung up the phone, her mother walked back into the room and asked, “What did they say?”

As she proceeded to explain their procedures to her mother as Susan’s trembling went into high gear.  She was shaking so badly that she could barely take a sip of the coffee that her mother had fixed for her when she had first arrived.

“Are you alright?”, she asked.

“This is going to make him a whole lot angrier than just me leaving when I report him to the police.  What if he goes off the deep end and really kills me for it?  What will happen to the kids?”, Susan asked her mother as she burst out crying once more.

“Don’t worry about that right now.  You have to do it, Susan.  If anything happens to you and they don’t catch him for it, I promise that we’ll hire an attorney and fight for custody of your children.  Have some faith in God!  You have to believe that He will protect you.  But right now you have to call the police.”

“Okay,” Susan replied, “hand me the phone again.”  With that she dialed 911 and waited for the dispatcher to answer as her knee rapidly bounced up and down…

Teresa Marie  1/21/12 ©






Where Did I Go? – Part One

(image source: dreamworlds.ru)


“Where did I go?”,  Susan thought to herself as she got dressed for work.  That woman of mystery and allure that she had once envisioned herself as was far from what her life was now.

Here she was living a lie and getting ready to play out an even bigger one.  Susan had been abused by her husband for 15 years.  They had three children out of their marriage with the youngest one being only 5 years old.

She had made up her mind the night before that she had to escape.  There was no way that she could take any more of this sham, the pretense was slowly killing her but worse, she feared that Jason was on the verge of doing it himself.

He was sure that she was cheating on him, which was the furthest thing from the truth.  She would have been too scared to ever do something like that even if she wanted to, which she didn’t.  “Why in the world would I want another man after having to live through hell with you for these last 15 years?” she often thought when the accusations would start flying.

The vile, filthy things he would say amid these tirades disgusted her to the point of never wanting to have sex again for the rest of her life.  Maybe that was his intentions all along, but Susan doubted it.  She could find no rhyme or reason to his fits of rage.  They never made any sense to her.  “You make me sick!  I hate you so bad that I’d like to kill you myself!!” was usually how it always ended, his last parting shot to her psyche before it was followed by a blow to the face or his hands around her throat squeezing the breath out of her.

Yes, Susan was ready to save herself today.  “I’m sorry kids,” she thought as she took a last look in the bathroom mirror, “but you’re gonna have to stay here for a couple of days without me.”  Susan wasn’t too worried about that part, Jason never hit them.  They were just his little pawns that he used against her, too valuable to alienate them.

As she came out of the bathroom, Jason was standing there glaring at her.  “It’s the third Saturday in a row that you’ve had mandatory overtime!  This is ridiculous!  You sure you’re not going to meet somebody instead?”

“Don’t be like that!”, she replied.  “You know I have no choice, it’s mandatory.  What do you want me to do, lose my job?  Then where would we be?  You’ve been out of work since Karen was nine months old, somebody has to support this family.”

That was another thing Susan was starting to resent him for.  She had been working sixty to seventy hours a week for three weeks straight and was worn out.  Then she came home and had to clean up the house, fix dinner, get the kids rounded up and ready for bed, all before she could ever seem to sit down and rest.  Jason’s famous phrase was, “Look, mommy’s home and daddy is off duty now!”

No wonder she got hooked on meth.  She had to do it just to keep herself going.  It wasn’t all that hard to get and half the people that she worked with were doing it too.  So that was a way to add a little more income to the household as well, Susan became their supplier.

She used the money from the meth sales to cover Jason’s Morphine and Oxycodone addictions, in addition to the meth.  She didn’t pay anything for hers, which was no longer a high but rather a necessary evil.

As Susan walked out the door, her legs were shaking.  This was it, she would never come back to this house again, never see any of her possessions again either.  She knew that Jason would hold her worldly goods as hostage in attempts to lure her back but it wasn’t going to work this time.  He could have, have it all but the kids!

In reality, Susan was supposed to be working today but on Thursday they had announced that Saturday overtime had been cancelled.  That’s when the plan started to take shape in her mind, all it lacked was the backbone to do it.

Jason opened the door up and took one parting shot at her as she got in the car.  “I’ll be calling you at work in about half an hour just to be sure you’re really there!”

“That’s fine, I’ll be there,” Susan replied as calmly as she could and closed the car door…

The One Lovely Blog Award and The Genuine Blogger Award

I have been nominated for these two lovely awards by Autumn, Gabby and Soma.  Thank you ladies!!



Now I would like to pass the along to the following well deserving list of people:














I know that some of these may have been nominated already; I know that I have missed people that should have been added; I apologize for leaving anyone out but don’t feel it was on purpose – please!  Just chalk it up to my damaged brain, lol!

Love and hugs to you all,

My Friday Thoughts – Suggestions?


Alright my friends, here is what I have been thinking about concerning my blog for this year and I am needing your input/suggestions/opinions:

Since Stumbleupon has changed their format, I have lost a lot of my readership (over 80% to be exact) and I can’t figure out why.  I’m not doing anything different from what I was before.

The only conclusion that I can arrive at is that they want me to buy an upgrade because I was getting too many hits for free.

To be quite honest with you, before now I averaged approximately 1000 – 2000 hits a day from them alone.

Now I am lucky to get over 100 – 150.

If their rates were reasonable, I might have considered it but they don’t have a flat fee upgrade.  Instead they charge you per hit.  Sorry guys, it’s not that important to me to pay you like that nor could I afford it if I wanted to.  I am just about ready to stop posting there completely but will wait a while longer to see if it turns around.

I recently linked up to tumblr and have quickly seen a growing readership. 🙂

I try my best to offer a wide variety of content so that everybody can find something that appeals to them.  Is there anything you all would like to see me do more of, less of, change, etc?

How about my short stories?  I haven’t done any recently because they were not being read by that many people but if those of you who were reading them want me to, I will start doing more of them.

I would appreciate hearing anything that you have to say about it.

I also have been encouraged by several of my most supportive friends to pursue getting some of my children’s and inspirational story/poems published.  That is one goal that I have set for this year.  Anything helpful that you have to offer there would also be appreciated!

Love and blessings, Terri

Evil Deceptions – Part II

(Image Source: my.opera.com)

As soon as they got into the truck, without even looking at her, Jeffery started screaming, “I stood there and watched you for a while and you were flirting with every man that passed by!!  You are nothing but a slut aren’t you!!”  And then before she knew it she was seeing stars for the first time in her life, he had actually hit her in the face and then, wham!  He hit her again!

The pain shot through her brain like molten lead, Karen was in shock.  Disbelieving what was happening to her, she screamed, “Oh my God! Wwwhhyyy?!”  Tears were streaming down her face, she shook uncontrollably as her teeth chattered.  Shaking her head back and forth, she tried to look at Jeffrey but everything was just a blur at first.  Finally her vision started to clear and then she wished that it hadn’t because what she saw scared her more that the realization of being hit had.

“You had that coming you bitch!”, he screamed at her.  His face was crimson in color and his eyes were wide with a crazed, glassy look to them.  He was snarling at her through grit teeth.  He was unrecognizable.  He looked like some wild psycho from a horror movie, a serial killer, positively demonic!

Karen was trying to make sense of it all and failing miserably.  She knew that she had done nothing wrong, never flirted with any man in the park unless you call smiling back at them flirting!  She was not a rude person, if someone smiled at her she smiled back at them, male or female.  But she hadn’t spoken to anyone.  What did she do wrong?

She didn’t even register what Jeffrey was saying or rather screaming.  Her mind was in shock, face in pain unlike anything that she had ever known before and she could feel her eye swelling up!  “Oh my God!”, she thought, “Did he just give me a black eye?  What am I going to tell the people at work?  What will Jessica say?  Will it be ‘I told you so!'”  Karen just couldn’t believe that any of this was real.

“I must be having a nightmare!  Yeah, that’s it and I’ll wake up here in a minute.  Jeffrey and I have had some pretty bad arguments lately but he would never hit me…”

She did not get any further with the thought when reality was back, Jeffrey was pulling her from the truck because they were home.  Once she became aware that it wasn’t, Karen didn’t know what to do next, all she knew was that she was  very afraid to be alone with him behind closed doors.  Was he going to beat her up?  Hit her in the face again?  What would happen?

She wanted to run, just make a bolt between apartment buildings, across the back lawns and over to her friend’s house that only lived a couple of blocks away.  Jeffrey was tugging at her elbow and attempting to hurry her inside.  Karen tensed immediately and began dragging her feet, stalling for a second so that she could think…

Teresa Marie  11/27/11

She Wants to Feed

Tears streamed down my face, I didn’t wipe them away. I could still hear the incessant bickering between my parents. Plates broke and glasses shattered. When their furious eyes turned to me, I left. The gloomy woods scratched my skin as I forced myself into it’s frigid embrace. Anywhere was better than home. “He’s your son!” The screech of my step mother echoed amongst the trees. I tripped and fell. My blurred gaze rose, I saw someone. It was her: the girl. The light illuminated her but shadowed me. I wanted some of that light, the light she took from me. “Do you hear him at night? He talks to himself.” I tried to force my step mother’s voice out from my mind but it only grew stronger. I rose. The girl stared at me and blinked slowly. My hand reached out to touch her, to take back what was mine. The chilling air bit at my fingers. “Please,” I begged. “You’re all I have.” The girl smiled. The voice of my step mother maliciously hissed from the foliage beneath our feet. “Schizophrenic.”

– Ermisenda Alvarez

Finally, for the first time, she spoke to me, “You hate her don’t you?!”

I wasn’t sure if it was a question or a statement of fact that she already knew, but I still nodded my agreement.  The girl’s eyes held me transfixed as she approached me.  “Why haven’t you talked to me before now?” I asked, “I’ve tried to talk to you so many times but you would always walk away, taking a piece of me with you as you left.  So why now?”

She seemed to almost be glowing as she neared me.  I felt a mixture of awe and fear course through my veins.  “I was waiting for just the right time, when I knew you were ready.”  Then she smiled again.  This time it was more of a sneer than a smile and it chilled me to the bone.

Alarm bells began ringing in my head and I heard a voice saying, “Run, run away now while you still can!  Don’t think about it, just do it!!”

I shook my head as though shaking the water from my ears after a shower.  I was trying my best to rid myself of that voice ’cause I wanted to talk to the girl, I needed to.  Everything within me was poised to escape except my will and it was forcing me to stand still.

She was standing right in front of me now and I could smell the scent of what seemed like baby powder.  I liked it, whatever it was.  As she began to reach for my cheek, I heard a scream in my ear, “DON’T LET HER touch you or you will be lost forever in her spell!!  She wants to feed on your hatred!”


Teresa Marie   11/12/11


This week’s submission for picture it & write at: http://ermiliablog.wordpress.com/

Offering A Few Website Suggestions

Sometime when you are sitting around and surfing the web for something to read, I’d like to give you a few suggestions of sites to check out:


Arjun writes a variety of things; poems, thoughts and stories.  I’ve been following one of his suspense stories he started and it is very good!


Randall writes primarily poetry but takes on some controversial subject matter.  I find his poems are excellent and thought provoking.


Kevin has become a dear friend of mine through the blogosphere.  He writes some great poems too!  Kevin gave me the honor of writing one for me 🙂


Charles is another cyber-friend.  He writes a variety of things as well; poetry, daily inspiration/thoughts, true life stories.  He inspires me and I love his wit.


Abi is my “adopted cyber-daughter” and has become very precious to me.  She writes poetry and short stories.  Very, very good and talented for her age.

Those are just a few to start with.  I may try to do this as a weekly/monthly thing and give you a few to check out each time.   I don’t want anyone to be offended if they don’t see their site listed here!!  I have way too many to put them all in one post 🙂  This was just a taste.  Otherwise it would be way, way too long and people wouldn’t read it, lol!