What do I say about myself? I am a baby boomer. I have had MS for seven years that is in remission now. I was struck with it late in life and suffered severe damage from the large lesion that it left on my brain. At first I thought I’d had a stroke. I knew nothing of MS before it happened to me. It is a complex disease that brings many side issues with it.
It is only by the grace of God that I function as well as I do today. I still suffer from a depleted immune system and have to be careful of what illnesses I expose myself to, even a simple cold is not so simple. I also have short term memory loss issues, but I am 100% better off than I was before.
Last year I had to switch neurologists. When I went to the new one, he told that anyone at my age, who suffers as much damage as I did, never recovers as well as I have. I told him it was only through a lot of prayer and hard work. When I got ready to leave, he handed me a new prescription for my shots and said, “You must have Somebody up there looking out for you!”
The road I’ve walked has been one of falling away and returning to God many times. It has, I admit, been quite a painful one but I wouldn’t change a thing! I’ve made a lot of stupid mistakes. Through the rebellions and the states of grace, I have grown much closer to God. I would not be the person I am today and have the relationship that I now have with Him if I had not been struck down with this disease.
I know He is a God of love, compassion and forgiveness. This is why I started a blog in the first place and named it “What about God?” I have a wide variety of life lessons to share with anyone who wants to listen. Hopefully some of you will relate and find inspiration from them.
God bless you and always remember that Jesus died for us because He loves us!
Addendum added 11/22/11:
I used to have some long discussions of my addictions and my life with an abuser for 12 years that I have since removed as my blog grew in the number of categories that I was carrying. Therefore, when I realized today that my About Me page mentions nothing of this, I decided I needed to put something on here about it.
I am a 20 year recovered alcoholic. I was addicted to meth/cocaine/crack until nearly 8 years ago now and they term that “recovering”, I call it recovered by the same grace of God for this condition that He gave me for my MS as well.
Due to those addictions, I know what it’s like to go from way up to rock bottom. I was literally homeless for 5 months; 45 days of which I was in a Salvation Army shelter, 45 days in jail for contempt of court and the remaining 2 months were from car to couch to car to couch etc.
I lived with a man who abused me both mentally and physically for 12 years. I’ve suffered 3 broken ribs, 3 black eyes, a lip busted open so far that 1.5 inch scar resulted, had the back of my head busted open leaving another scar of similar proportions and so on. I know what terror is. I also know what battered women syndrome is to where you will kill your abuser. I came within milliseconds of doing it twice.
I know what is it to be made to sit and listen for two hours straight to a diatribe on what trash I was; low, dirty, worthless, slut, whore, unworthy of life itself, etc. I made my escape to a woman’s shelter for almost 2 months. I know what it’s like to walk out of such a place and scan all the surrounding rooftops to make sure nobody was up there with a gun waiting to shoot me.
I was terrorized, controlled, battered, belittled and unrecognizable to myself as to who I ever used to be. And I survived, overcame and have a husband now that is beyond anything that I had ever imagined for myself. His love combined with the love of my Father in heaven, my Saviour the Lord Jesus, His Holy Spirit and my Guardian Angels has rescued me from death itself.
I am so very grateful for it all; the good, the bad and the ugly, for I would not be who I am today had I not been where I have been. Thank You God Almighty, Holy Trinity, Three persons in One God and my ever solicitous Guardians who were charged with my safe keeping!
Another Thought – 2/3/12:
I was reading back through my page when this thought occurred to me and it might well to you too as you read this;
when I first found out that I had MS, I felt sure that it was caused by my drug usage. I didn’t really want to know for sure due to the guilt it would have caused me, so I didn’t ask the doctor until about a year after my diagnosis. When I told her about my past, she looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Absolutely not! Drugs played no part in you having this disease.”
It was comforting to know that, and yet I still felt guilty as though I were to blame. I began thinking that it may have been punishment from God for my multitude of sins.
Over the years, that thought, along with the guilt, has been removed. If anything, the MS has been a blessing to me and that is what I want for you to take with you from this page; that I am blessed beyond measure, fully redeemed and forgiven, loved unconditionally, both here on earth and in heaven above!