This is to my immediate family as well as to all of you – my cyber family!! Thank you for all of the support you have given us over the past year (or I should say the past 4 years!!) I love and appreciate you all. May God bless you richly, keep you safely in the palm of His hand and grant you the Merriest Christmas ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!! – along with a Happy New Year too xxxxxxxxxxxxx o
(BTW: Mark just got his third opinion last week, that doctor concurred with the first two and their diagnosis. BUT, we will not allow it to dampen our Holidays. I plan on enjoying however much time God grants us together; hoping and praying for another miracle Christmas like the one He gave us a few years back when my brother wasn’t supposed to live long enough to see the day and we still have him!!)
Dad: Finished up with his physical therapy last week for his back. He doesn’t think it helped that much but mom does, His dementia is progressing
Mom: Cataract surgery was successful. Everything is looking good, lol!
Mark: Not much change He has a doctor’s appointment tomorrow and we’ll see what he says then. I don’t think the heart medicine that he gave him is doing anything to improve his condition.
Blaine: My son found out last week that he and his wife, Cait, are having twins! Not identical, each in their own sack. Due 5/27 :)
Keith: My brother’s wife, Lisa, was in a head-on collision a few of weeks ago on her way home from school (she is a teacher). It shattered her ankle and broke a bone in her neck. Home from the hospital now. Cast on for ? and neck brace for 3 – 4 months but we are thankful to still have her with us!!
I’m getting ready to take some things up to a consignment shop we have here in town, wish me luck! (Oh ya, the bride and groom cats are what I made for my son and his wife’s wedding present.)
We wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving!! God bless and keep you this holiday season!! Love and hugs, Terri
I don’t know how it happened; this post was supposed to go with the Spinning poem but ended up in my drafts folder instead, gee I wonder?! lol! Better late than never, right?
Yes, as you can see with my poem, I’ve finally hit the wall and suffered a stress fracture! lol. Actually I’ve been sick for 3 weeks now, or more, I can’t remember for sure the last time I felt good.
The doctor started Mark on the first option of med’s on the 15th. I had to contact the on-call doc on Friday evening, after a nerve-wracking day of worry. I told Mark on Thurs. evening that he looked rundown. On Friday, he was real lethargic and just not himself. I was getting ready to run get Sara after school and went to tell him. At first I couldn’t find him but then noticed the bedroom door was closed. I yelled out that I was leaving and asked if he was okay. He said yes, but I knew he was lying. I opened the door and said so. ”How do you know I’m lying?” he asked me.
“Mark! We’ve just had our 8th anniversary, I know my husband better than he thinks apparently. The only time you get away with doing it, like you just did, is ’cause I let you! Good thing you don’t try it often.”
Looking closer at him, I noticed he was kinda ashy and his face looked like somebody had punched it, extremely swollen. No wonder he had kept out of my sight for most of the day! He said he was fine for me to leave him alone for 20 minutes. I flew there and back. Then he was back up and I saw how inflamed his whole body was. Scared me to death! I grabbed the phone and called immediately.
Long story short; I had to monitor his blood pressure over the weekend and if it got up to 160, take him immediately to the ER; he had to stop the new med’s; we couldn’t travel anywhere (which normally wouldn’t matter except my son was getting married 90 miles away!!!!!!) All this occurred at 10:45 pm and I had to call him around 11:15 to tell him that I would not be able to come see him get married. I was bawling my eyes out! He said that he understood but I still heard the hurt in his voice. Then I had to call my eldest daughter to tell her that I would get Sara out there to ride with her but Mark & I would not be going. At first she was dead silent and I burst out bawling all over again.
“I don’t know what to say mom, I’m sorry. Did you call Blaine yet?” ”Yes” ”What did he say?” ”He understood” ”I’m sure he does” ”I still know he’s hurt” ”I’m sure he is! I don’t want this to sound mean, so please don’t take it that way but I’m just talking from the other side of the coin here.” (I already had an idea what was coming) ”What?” ”I just really sucks to be your kid sometimes. It was already bad enough before with you always being sick so much, but now with Mark too, that’s just that much more stuff you will miss out on being there for! Look at all the things you’ve already missed.” Bawling more, “I kn-know but I c-c-can’t help it!” ”WE ALL KNOW THAT, MOM! We don’t blame you at all, that’s what I meant when I said that it sucks being your kid. You know I wouldn’t trade you for anything in the world!! Mark either, we all just wish you weren’t sick.” ”How do you think I feel?!”
I told her that I thought about getting someone to come stay with him while I was gone but there’s no way I could do that and not be a basket case the hold time I was gone, just the worry alone would ruin the whole day for me and I didn’t want to be a downer to the celebration. Could you just imagine if I had gone 90 miles away and got a call saying “We had to take Mark to the hospital?” I’d probably kill myself just trying to get home fast enough, not to mention the worst case scenario.
Everybody understood, Mark said to go anyway, of course that didn’t happen and now I have one more guilt to live with concerning my children I am trying my hardest to brush it off but it’s not working well enough to keep my depression in check. I hit that Saturday night.
NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT ANY OF IT!!!! I know this, they know this, God knows this, easier said than done too.
I used to ask God why I had to go through all the abuse and crap with Sara’s dad, what He was strengthening me for? How strong did I have to be in the future? I wasn’t sure I wanted to be around for it. Today, I think I know why, it was a stress tolerance exercise!
I’m trying to keep busy and occupy my mind as much as possible but with being sick so much it’s not easy. I did want to share with you the latest things that I’ve been working on. They could be better but I think I’m still doing pretty good for only starting back in November or so of last year, don’t you? I find that I can do the sculpting better than the canes because, with them, you have to be able to apply equal pressure with both hands during construction and then again when reducing; for me with the MS, that’s impossible. Therefore, the pattern is never straight in my canes Oh well, I am having fun with these characters anyway.
Thanks to you all for those thoughts, prayers and words of encouragement!! I couldn’t do it without your support. Forgive me being negligent with the updates.
Love, hugs and blessings to all, Terri